Golden Globes 2015 – as it happened

That’s it for tonight, everyone. Thanks for keeping us company while we watched North Korean jokes, grumpy Harrison Ford, and Tina and Amy slay for the third year in a row. It’s a night we’ll never forget. At least until next year.

Boyhood is great. Richard Linklater is great. Patricia Arquette, Ethan Hawke & Ellar Coltrane are great. But how bout a shoutout to the secret weapon of that film: Lorelei Linklater. -JH

Meryl Streep’s dress looks like a Franz Kline painting. -JH

When this is over there’s still The Good Wife and Girls sitting in my DVR. Who needs to be on time to work tomorrow anyway? -BM

Eddie Redmayne beat out Benedict Cumberbatch by just a Planck’s length. #sciencejoke -JH

Wes Anderson thanks the members of the HFPA by their very unique first names. It was the first very funny speech in a night full of inspirational ones. Thanks, Wes. We needed that. -BM

Wes Anderson, cinema’s Willy Wonka, deserves this award and his speech was kinda perfect. If you like him. If you find him annoying, maybe you threw a pillow at the screen. -JH

Oprah Winfrey comes to summarize Selma. You get a Globe and you get a Globe and you get a Globe. -BM

Michael Keaton is terrific in Birdman, a movie that is good-but-not-great. Without the “one take” gag, this movie wouldn’t be much. The form totally outweighs the content. There’s not much meat on the bone, and in time we’ll mostly re-watch this one only to try and find the edits. -JH

The indefatigable Hannah wrote about the red carpet fashions, shortly before collapsing into bed.

Apparently the paramedics were called to the Golden Globes because Jane Fonda’s boyfriend passed out. The call was canceled before the ambulance could get there.

Ruth Wilson’s last Golden Globe nomination was for a miniseries of Jane Eyre. Because it happened the year the awards were cancelled because of the writer’s strike, we will never know if she was wearing something as ugly when she found out she lost that award.

Richard Linklater has never won a Golden Globe. He’s been a mainstay in independent and studio pictures for years. He worked 12 years on Boyhood, in fits and starts during his “day jobs.” He is the best director of the year. -JH

Harrison Ford seems so grouchy may very well just say “read it yourself” when he opens that enevelope. -JH

At the end of his speech, George Clooney pays tribute to his wife, saying “It’s a humbling thing to find someone to love. Amal, I couldn’t be prouder to be your husband.” He finishes with a description of the anti-terror march in Paris and signs off “Je Suis Charlie”. – AN

There are 40 or so Rosemary Clooney albums on Spotify. George’s whole family is cool. -JH

Remember when Jodie Foster got the humanitarian award and then came out on the Globes and gave this totally wacky speech? That was the last time this wasn’t a total snooze. -BM

Those blazin’ guitar licks as the Golden Globes cuts to commercial are of Satriani-level 90s shred. -JH

Call me old school, but whenever anyone thanks Netflix I feel like they’re thanking their mailman. -JH

Even watching these clips of Pride makes me want to cry. -BM

I kind of called the fact that it was nominated at all meant it was going to win. This is the only one of my predictions that has even remotely come true. -BM

A colleague tweets:

Maggie Gylleenhaal talks about how great it is for so many roles for women on television. This is the year of the inspirational speeches at the Globes. -BM

Leviathan is a very good film. Gett is better, Force Majeure is also better and Ida really really is better. Ida is, like, a borderline masterpiece. This is a weird win. -JH

In my next life, I would like to come back as Jane Fonda’s nude illusion rhinestone shoulder flap. -BM

Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are presenting. Hey, where is Dolly Parton?! -JH

It’s Jack Black, the star of Gulliver’s Travels! He sure knows plenty about art films. -JH

Birdman as best screenplay? The movie has great camera effects and good performances, but it’s not the screenplay that makes that one fly. The Grand Budapest Hotel or Gone Girl should have had this one. -JH

Some discomfort about Margaret Cho’s awkward Kim Jong-Un impersonation. For instance:

North Koreans speaking truth about Orange is the New Black right now, tbh. -BM

At the Gollum Globes, everybody wins a cold fish. -JH

In 16th Century Prague, the Golem Globes defended the Jewish Ghetto with its flashy star charisma. -JH

Patricia Arquette better not bring a piece of paper to the Oscars. Would Meryl do that? No. No, she would not. -BM

Jared Leto looks like a playing card. No wonder he’s playing the Joker in the next Batman movie. -JH

Kate Hudson absolutely knows nothing about a movie about Princesses. You know, people who are very very famous because of who their parents are. Knows nothing about that. -BM

Boy, Jay Baruchel has let himself GO. -JH

Please welcome Greer Grammer, the spawn of Down Periscope star Kelsey Grammer. -BM

Is it just me, or are the acceptance speeches getting longer and longer? -BM

Big Eyes is a decent film and Amy Adams is good in it, but it is not deserving of any major awards. No one will remember it in five years. -JH

Dear Ricky, you are not hosting anymore. Please go away. -BM

Clive Owen is present for The Theory of Everything because they’re all British or something. -BM

This is the best thing Katie Holmes did since leaving Tom Cruise. -BM

We’ve run down Tina Fey and Amy Pehler’s best gags of their introduction here.

You can also see who’s won which awards so far here.

Prince’s afro gets the biggest applause of the night. -BM

How can they let Vince Vaughn anywhere near an award after The Dilemma and Delivery Man is beyond me. -JH

Melissa McCarthy is good in everything. Including that dress. -BM

Jupiter Ascending ads on NBC. We’ll be hearing a lot about THIS movie at next year’s Globes right? Right? -JH

So far Orange is the New Black and True Detective getting shut out is as surprising as…well, the fourth season of Downton Abbey winning anything. -BM

If you are a Transparent fan, check out Jill Soloway’s film Afternoon Delight, and indie starring Juno Temple and Kathryn Hahn. -JH

This is how the HFPA says Je Suis Charlie. Good job. -BM

Cumberbatch Photobomb. That is going to be on Tumblr in 3…2…1… -JH

It’s sad that the brilliant Margaret Cho can only get work playing North Korean dictators. -BM

Only Naomi Watts can get away with saying “whilst”on national television. -JH

Billy Bob Thornton is on stage. Somebody better ask him about his album! -JH

I have a feeling that right now at the Golden Globes, Lady Mary is trying to figure out a way to pin Anna’s win on something Lady Edith did. -BM

Love WHIPLASH & of course SPIDER-MAN but a great JK Simmons perf is the unfairly maligned Coen Bros film THE LADYKILLERS. Check it out. -JH

50 Shades of Grey, but only two tones of silver. -BM

Now they’ll finally let JK Simons play the Marvel movie villain that he was born to play. -BM

God, the ladies ALWAYS choose Cumberbatch. -BM

The audience just gasped. That’s COS and effect. -JH

Watching Tina and Amy’s monologue is the quietest Twitter has been all year. -BM

Tina & Amy think that Amal is better than everyone in this room. We kinda gotta agree. -BM

Jeff Goldblum & Paul Rudd are seated next to one another. If the show gets dull, just point the camera at that table and start rolling. -JH

Jennifer Aniston brought her fiancee Justin Theroux to the Golden Globes, which is all the proof the tabloids need that they are ALREADY MARRIED! -BM

Tina Fey is the only person who can get away with making fun of Oprah and still live. -BM

Hannah sez:

Three times hurray for Alan Cumming. Yes, he looks like a plaster wearing trainers, but at least it’s not a penguin suit.

Hannah on Jennifer Lopez’s sartorial extravaganza:

Forget taste: this is the biggest, shiniest, most fabulous thing on the carpet. It has vast swathes of fabric, a huge cape, it shows of both cleaveage and leg, it makes no apologies for grabbing the limelight. It is J-Lo’s spirit in fabric form.

Steve Carell’s wife wins Gold Medal in the Helen Hunt lookalike contest. -JH

TREND ALERT: Maggie Gyllenhaal brought her brother Jake as her date. Lena Dunham brought her coworker Andrew Rannells. Kevin Spacey brought his coworker Kate Mara. Emma Stone brought her brother. Reese Witherspoon brought her inspiration Cheryl Strayed. Whatever happened to just bringing your mom? -BM

Exciting! Wonder whether James Corden will do a selfie with him this time.

Alan Cumming in the flesh tuxedo everyone (on Twitter) is talking about.

Hannah says:

A sequins-meets-cummerbund-meets-leg split moment from Jennifer Aniston. Saint Laurent does Las Vegas croupier.

Seth Meyers’ hair stylist: Futurama’s Fry? -JH

Somehow having Amal Clooney at the Golden Globes just calls the legitimacy of the whole enterprise into question. -BM

Emma Stone laughs in the face of fishtail strapless gowns with an embellished jumpsuit decorated with an over-sized bow. She either has excellent taste or an excellent stylist.

Viola Davis is getting away with murder tonight because her look is KILLING it. -BM

More from Hannah on Amal Clooney’s outfit:

Fashion is all about the details, and the particulars of Amal Clooney’s outfit suggest that she beats to the sound of her own drum. She plays it very safe in the main tonight – wearing one of the most alpha fashion labels there is: Dior couture, showing she is now part of the fashion establishment – but adds her own Grace Kelly-style gloves. That’s not a trend that has been seen on any catwalk, it’s simply something she fancied wearing. She also affixed a Je Suis Charlie badge on her clutch, which is classy in an entirely different way.

Rivers in the streaming.

Talking to celebrities on the red carpet is sort of like the world’s worst job. It’s like if someone broadcast you trying to make small talk at your partner’s office Christmas party. -BM

Jack Black just beamed onto the red carpet from 2002. Welcome back, Jack. -BM

Michael Keaton and Matt Lauer going head to head to see who is more fearless in chromedomedom. Bless them both.-JH

We’ve made a gallery of the red carpet arrivals so far – take a look.

Jennifer Aniston just starred in Cake, which is an adaptation of a Rihanna song. #cakecakecakecake -BM

Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice can not be heard over the screams of ovulating fans. -BM

As well as the gloves, Amal Clooney has Je suis Charlie badge on her handbag.

Mark Ruffalo in the house. Ed Norton’s there too. If Eric Bana’s there, too, the Hulk fans watching the show may get the vapors. -JH

A red carpet complaint

Matthew McConaughey’s beard is moments away from achieving sentience. -JH

Right now millions of Americans are watching coworkers Carson Daly and Adam Levine catch up about their holidays. This is office gossip we’re supposed to care about. -BM

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler just recycled the “What are they going to do, fire us?”joke they already made on E! At least they have their material down. -BM

NEWSFLASH! Amal Clooney is wearing white gloves. In an debutante kind of way, not a magician kind of way. More to follow.

I think Dame Helen Mirren’s hit the Prosecco already. -JH

After the Globes Bill Murray heads off to his The Band cover band rehearsal. #thathat -JH

Hannah with some hair news:

Sienna Miller’s wavy bob – aka “the wob” – is the celebrity haircut to copy at the moment. With it, tonight, comes a dress: it’s by Miu Miu, it’s blush pink, the hem is subtly wonky, as are many of the design details – the sheer straps, the nana-print of the fabric. This is Sienna doing boho the 2015 way. It totally works.

To keep abreast of who’s up for what tonight, here’s a full list of nominees.

Watching Al Roker talk about Twitter is sort of like when your dad asks you who Victoria Justice is. -BM

The sartorial highlight so far: Julianne Moore does maximalism with a shimmering torso and feathery skirt. This is custom Givenchy and manages to be sleek and edgy despite all the bling. Also, January sequins should always be encouraged.

Right now half of you are watching the red carpet on E! and half of you are watching it on NBC. Too bad Comcast owns them both! Who is the real winner here? (Everyone not watching Guilianna Rancic, that’s who.) -BM

Can you tell the difference between Reese Witherspoon and Cheryl Strayed. You can’t, can you? -JH

Emily Blunt is wearing more turquoise than all the residents of Santa Fe combined. -BM

Host Amy Poehler is here and looking excellent:

Most stylists wouldn’t advise wearing a dress that covers everything – a high neck, long arms and a floor-trailing skirt – but Amy Poehler looks briliant, here. It’s the colour – a deep purple suitable for a comedy queen – the hint of skin at the wrist and the Stella McCartney cut.

Savannah Guthrie is kind of like the substitute teacher that you really liked. -BM

Almost certainly not the last mention of the events in Paris tonight.

Here’s Hannah on the Twitter-quitting Lena Dunham’s outfit:

Very safe, as Dunham’s sometimes loopy red carpet outfits go, but the high neckline and mullet-style hem – not to mention Dunham’s sleeve of tattoos – keep it modern. It was designed by Zac Posen who, fashion fact fans, is also Dunham’s former babysitter.

I still am not sure if I’ve forgiven Allison Williams for Peter Pan Live. -BM

Lena Dunham is on TV! She’s using MORE that 140 characters. -JH

James Spader! I loved him in “Crash.” He did this one thing in one scene where . . . -JH

Lena Dunham says on the red carpet that she deleted the Twitter app from her phone to create a safer space for herself emotionally. She said this within 90 feet of Ryan Seacrest, which is not a safe space for anyone emotionally. -BM

I bet the person who does Tina Fey’s hair gets lots of attention on Grindr. -BM

Everyone on NBC is obsessed with women wearing Lemoncello and it makes me want to have Danny DeVito attack every single one of them. -BM

More selfie stick action:

Hannah on Lana del Rey’s outfit:

If Priscilla Presley were a mermaid, it would look something like this. Quite a lot going on – what with the pleats and the low-v and the slightly awkward little bow – but that’s very on-brand for Lana.

Either Liev Schreiber is speaking or someone left a PBS documentary on in the other room. -JH

Ruth Wilson’s dress looks like every college sophomores Urban Outfitter’s tapestry. -BM

BREAKING: Kevin Spacey just offered to grab woman’s ass on live television. -BM

Hannah on Lorde:

This is an excellent custom Narciso Rodriguez outfit: wide-legged red carpet trousers and tux with scraped back hair and a crop top. One of the brilliant things about the way Lorde dresses is its consistency – you get the impression she would wear this at a party, too, minus the diamonds.

David Duchovny: the Truth is right here. I don’t see myself buying your novel.-JH

Robert Duvall looks like he spent the afternoon cutting onions. -BM

Oof!

It’s Gina Rodriguez! Hannah says:

A black, strapless fishtail gown is an awards show cliche, bound to have some fashion critics yawning, but doesn’t rising star Gina Rodriguez – of burgeoning Jane the Virgin fame – look comfortable and glowing and delightful? She also gives it a twist with some below-knee fringing and accessorises with luxuriant hair. The dress is by Badgley Mischka.

Guys, if you watch NBC you can still watch all the gowns and you don’t have to look at Giuliana Rancic even once. Just sayin’. -BM

Selma director Ava DuVernay, who stands a very good chance of picking up a gong or two tonight, has brought her dad. Aw …

I am watching the Golden Globes on NBC and they’ve cut to a commercial for the Golden Globes. -JH

It seems like all the NBC red carpet hosts went to the Melissa Rivers school of television presentation. -BM

Here’s Hannah on Eddie Redmayne:

Excellent. He’s wearing velvet. Redmayne has just been voted GQ’s best-dressed man of the year and this kind of subtle experiment is why: he knows that velvet is not just for curtains, but for life. Fashion is obsessed with 70s glamour all things strokeable at the moment and Redmayne wears this very well.

Hello, everyone! This is Brian Moylan here, your snarker-in-Chief for this evenings ceremony. I’ll be joined by film critic Jordan Hoffman as we work our way through this year’s Golden Globe’s ceremony one joke at a time. Tune into NBC right now for the red carpet arrivals and we’ll be here until the last award is handed out whenever that might be (probably around 11, but we can never be sure). If you have anything to add, please get lively in the comments below.

More red carpet glamour …

Oh look, there’s Rosamond Pike. She’s on the Vanity Fair cover this month. There goes her career. (This is Brian Moylan, btw.)

First sighting of the selfie stick and we’re only nine minutes in!

And here’s the Guardian’s deputy fashion editor Hannah Marriott assessing the frocks. She says:

Pike looks a lot less menacing than Amy Dunne, here, in floaty ivory tulle by Vera Wang, a designer famous for her bridalwear. To be brutally honest, this doesn’t quite work – the edgy cut outs seem at odds with the princessy tulle skirt – although the razor sharp bob is a winner.